


Breathe

by Alphinss



Series: Fictober [5]
Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Emotional Hurt, Fictober, Hurt, Hurt Merlin, Oblivious Arthur
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-04
Updated: 2018-10-04
Packaged: 2019-07-25 02:59:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 690
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16188662
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Alphinss/pseuds/Alphinss
Summary: Merlin tells himself that he needs to breathe. It's how he gets through the day. But there are some days when even that becomes impossible.For #Fictober18 day 5





	Breathe

 

 **Breathe,** just breathe. Keep your head. Don’t let it get to you. Push through the pain.

 

  
“Merlin” Arthur barked at the black haired man who looked rather vacant. He was obviously not paying attention. Arthur picked up the goblet that sat at his bedside. He threw it. Merlin did not dodge.

The young man was in such a daze that he didn’t even see it coming. A thud followed by a clatter. The goblet fell to the floor. Arthur didn’t notice the wince.

“Merlin” Arthur yelled again. The Prince didn’t notice the flinch. “Where the hell is my breakfast?”

“Oh…I’ll get it” Merlin paused “now” he turned.

“Well, go then.”

  
**Breathe.** Breathe. Keep going. Don’t let your feet fall from under you. Don’t let them see.

 

  
“Merlin, where’s my sword?” Arthur bellowed.

Merlin huffed as he ran toward the group of knights. His breathing was harsher than it should be. His whole body seemed to be sagging. His eyes were glassy.

He handed over the sword. The knights didn’t notice.

“How about you help us out with some target practice Merlin.” Arthur grinned, humour evident on his face. “Could save your life one day”

Merlin was soon decked with a shield and a sword. Swords, maces, axes and arrows were beaten into the shield. Merlin was told to block. Merlin tried.

No-one noticed as his movements became more sluggish; as his feet stumbled more than they should. He panted, his chest ached. Merlin should not have been doing this. Merlin was sure that some of ribs were broken. Merlin was not sure he was able to stay upright. No-body cared.

 

  
**Breathe** , all you need to do is breathe. Don’t let your body get crushed under the weight.

 

  
“Merlin” Gaius was at his door. “I need you to collect some things for me.”

Merlin opened the splintering wood, tying his neckerchief tight. He grabbed his bag from the floor. He flinched as it set on his shoulder. He needed to be more careful. Gaius didn’t notice.

“What do you need?” Merlin tried to smile. It was fake. It hurt more than the cuts on his shoulder.

“Catmint, Aloe, Bilbery and Burdock” Gaius was distracted by the parchment in his hand. He was more focused on the note that he had. More concerned with other patients. “Shouldn’t be too difficult for you.” The old man was still looking at the things in his hands. “Get to it.”

Merlin trudged from the room. The woods were a long way off.

Herbs were gathered, stuffed into their own bags. Merlin walked deeper into the woods. Aloe was difficult to find in this season. There was very little of it. Gaius would not be satisfied with half measures. Merlin trekked deeper. It was going to be a long night.

 

 

  
**Breathe** was all he needed to do. In and out. It had never been this difficult before.

 

 

  
“Merlin, we have guests.” Arthur was yelling again. “You are to show them to their rooms. See to all of their needs.”

Arthur turned to the guests. It was as though Merlin was not there. He didn’t see the way his shoulders sagged; the weight of the world on them.

“Merlin here will be at your beck and call. You need anything, you talk to him.” Arthur turned and walked off down the corridor. He was a prince. He had better things to do. His guests were not important enough for all his attention.

“Please follow me” Merlin bowed his head. He was just too tired.

“You will address me properly servant” the man growled out. His tone was threatening.

“Yes my Lord, sorry my Lord” Merlin mumbled. He led the pair to his room.

Merlin was run ragged; moving luggage, collecting food, dealing with a killer lamia.

Merlin sagged against a tree, his breath coming in difficult gasps. Everything hurt. The lamia lay dead by his side.

He couldn’t Breathe. His lungs would not obey his commands, there was no air. He couldn’t breathe. Shallow and uneven. His throat felt tight. His heart hammered faster, no oxygen. He couldn’t breathe.

 

 

Sometimes breathing is easier said than done.

 


End file.
